Yesterday went by to quickly.
Your tattoo.
That sushi.
My crying.
That vodka.

I wish I could have changed it.
I wish it could have been real.
A real 1 year.

Falling slowly

You still know me

how I used to be

I know this is a new start, but i am so scared.

I am so eager to get into your head again.

Know you again.

be yours again.

Your girl.

Your Deary.

Your Mrs.

Your love.

I want to hear you say I love you again, like I tell you everyday.

I never stopped. 

Never will.

If you only you could hear my thoughts.

I am so terrible at saying what I want to say.

my thoughts fight each other.

Which one to say first before it is forgotten and never said.

Ramble.

It's all I can do.

But when I try,

my mouth tightens and nothing is said.

All I can give is a timid, pathetic stare to the floor.

Your eyes pierce me ,

and I feel them even more when you lift my chin to meet face to face.

I am fear.

The feeling of slick, ink drenched skin...
Fresh ink,
Fresh art.
Pain for art,
or Art for pain?

I am waiting.
Waiting for a call.
For those 3 words.

Last night was another night I tied to forget you.

9
shots
does
the
trick.

fml

My body feels like it is falling apart.

I feel weak.

I feel numb.

My emotions stuck in overdrive.

My mind spinning.

It's like I am watching myself wreck.

Took a personality disorder test.
How fucked up am I really?
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

haha

Sick of body and mind...

I feel sick in to many ways
for to many days
for to many reason
for bad decisions
for no apparent reasons
with a lack of self ambition
with my falsely stated remission.